Sunday June 16th – Last Day off, work tomorrow

It’s been 7 weeks and never in my life have I taken 7 weeks off of work!  The time has flown, it might seem like a month has passed but no more.  Crazy how depression (and healing of course from a major surgery) steals your time but you have little to show for it!  Thrilled that I’m mostly better and only have to focus on my eating (with the excellent help of my little appetite) and exercise.  I’ve still not built in a regular routine of exercise yet, just bits and pieces and I guess I’m lucky that I live an active (with the help of my ADHD) life.

After 4 days at a conference with food being the main focus (not my main focus but it was hard to ignore), I’m trying now at home to shift back into my “norm” of eating.  At the conference it seemed that I was hungry every 2 hours or so (breakfast/snack/lunch/snack/HUGE supper and REPEAT) for 4 days!  When I did eat, it was still small quantities but it worried me how my body said it was hungry more often than I was used to.  When hungry my quantities stayed small but the frequency of hunger surprised me.  I’ve not weighted myself yet to see if there was a measurable impact but I’ll chance it in the morning.  My new goal is to stay away from sugar.  Of course I don’t expect I’ll be silly-stupid with my choices but I had a hard time avoiding it when it was a built in part of my life at the conference (2 desserts – half eaten and 2 timbits in 4 days) but in perspective, compared to the old me, that’s tiny.  The new me would like to hardly have any sugar that is not natural and only natural occasional.  The second meal in the “ballroom” was turkey and without initially realizing, I felt ill and nauseated and had to rush to the bathroom for the first time in almost 3 weeks and I blame the turkey.  Once, about a month ago, I tried turkey with the same effect.  Never did I expect the same reaction but I had been a very responsible eater during that meal (not even one bit of dessert) and with old symptoms cropping up?

Tiredness has crept back in a wee bit, but I could easily suggest that’s just life, not any cause for concern just yet.  I challenged it when I got home today (after my 4 days away) and cleaned most of the house including carpet and furniture steam cleaning and 3 loads of laundry.  So I chased the tiredness away with no problem.  I think I drank very little at the conference too (thinking back) but I’m happy to report that I’m very thirsty now that I’m home.

Picture below are more of the conference, my fellow foster parents and a training I was in (including Irwin Elman from the Child and Youth Advocates Office, Advocacy 1 Training and shots from the “Grand Ballroom” where our meals were served)

Thursday June 6th to June 12 – Week 7 Recovery

During these 7 days, I continued to feel well and eat almost normally (normally = small quantities).  I had our Special Day/Celebration I blogged about already and added some pictures.  Life feels busy and other than occasionally feeling tired, I’m keeping up much better as compared to the last 6 weeks!  I’ve had a second state side shopping trip for Mikey’s Grad outfit, an all morning appointment for my Mom, running around to prepare for the boys to be away and my (and Kirk’s) trip to Toronto for the Foster Parents Society of Ontario Conference starting Thursday AM (pictures are from the conference)

My weight has moved a wee bit more and I’m now at 45lbs lost after my hover at 40lbs for 2+ weeks!

Below are 3 pictures of Mikey, from baby to toddler to Gr 8 Grad in his suit we bought state side this week!  He chose each bit of it and colour!

 

June 9th – Special Day

Today was our PRE Wedding Day party for all friends and family directly involved to get to meet and know one another.  We walked back to my Aunt and Uncles property to the “pond” where (weather permitting) our ceremony will be.  Our photographer (my co-worker Derek) agreed to join us to do Kirk and my engagement pictures and each family that joined us yesterday had Derek take professional portraits of them all!  I also got to see some co-workers whom I’ve missed dearly (Amanda and Darlene) and Kirk’s best man was able to meet everyone else (as he’s not an avid facebooker where everyone else is staying in touch).

Health wise, life is generally good with still odd fluctuations in what I can eat, from anywhere to about a cup (or a bit more if I eat slow) or a few bits of something.  I try to stay strong with the rules around only natural sugars and protein first and mostly.  My weight has remained mostly stalled at 40lbs to 42lbs lost over the last 2.5 weeks.  Frustrating but I keep telling myself that I should feel lucky as 40lbs in 6.5 weeks is a wonderful amount.  I also and more so than the numbers struggle with my appearance (what I don’t see) in 40lbs less.  The clinic warned us that we would go through this and I am.  I know I’m one size down and see a bit in my face but overall I wonder where the 40lbs hid all these years.  I’ve pushed my luck and tried some sweets today (as our “cake lady” for the wedding provided us with 4 cake choices to sample in 40 cupcakes).  I’ve had no reaction to todays small sample or a few bites of a cheese cake on Thursday night at my retreat in Calabogie, which I also have mixed feelings about.  I would almost prefer the discouragement of feeling ill (dumping syndrome) from eating sugar (not natural) but maybe because I’ve only ever tried small quantities.  On a positive note, I have no desire to be crazy with sweats, only tiny amounts and twice in 6 weeks.  Greasy foods is something I have no desire to do so I’m not sure my body’s reaction to those items!  Just tonight I read some blogs from fellow bypass troupers and there’s some theme to the feeling that your body will mostly police you in the first 6 – 9 month by making you feel ill if you make poor eating choices but after that, it’s all on ‘you’ to choose protein, healthy, small quantities and exercise as your body does less in the ‘policing’ department.  If that’s true, I guess it’s best that I adjust to making the right choices just because, not because my body makes me feel full (which essentially I’m doing now anyways).

The pictures below include (in order) Mikey with Kirk’s Mom Sheila, Myself and Amanda (my wedding day support planner person), Tammy my sister in law and myself (wedding day planner as well), Kirk’s Mom Sheila and I, Erin (Maid of Honour) and I and Kirk with Mikey.

Thursday May 30th to June 5th – Week 6 of Recovery

A good sign I think but writing each day has become difficult since I’m finally feeling like myself!  I’m now on my meds for the depression symptoms and it’s been about 7 days and I have renewed energy (by today, 7 days later).  I’m back to my usual go go go self that jumps from one activity to another, with even a bit more energy than the “old” me.  The old me would push and push myself even though I would feel tired, the new me doesn’t even feel tired when doing more high energy things like my yard work.  In the past 7 days I’ve done a ton of yard work with Kirk including planting my wedding pumpkins and sunflowers, I’ve gone state side shopping for an engagement dress (for our pictures Sunday), celebrated my older foster son’s 16th Birthday twice this week, taken my Mom to medical appointments and got my nails done again (for our pictures).  Tomorrow I get to pack and have a mini kid and hubby vacation in Calabogie!

Our big pre-wedding party is Sunday where all friends and family directly involved gets to meet one another and we (weather permitted) will visit the wedding site and have my photographer friend/co-worker (and wedding photographer) take our engagement pictures and the other guests family pictures.  I pray for good weather! So, given the events coming up, yard work has stolen all of my time! My Family and Children’s Services retreat in Calabogie is from Thursday night until Friday night where one rep from management and the Foster Family Association Presidents meet (about 25 people) from all near by CAS’ then race home to finish the last details for Sunday’s get together.  Some special things going on Saturday too but that’s a secret for now.

After this week (and the last part of it is a busy one) I only have one more week off of work.  At least I’m dreading it a bit less than a week ago.

So, depression seems to be better under control and my weight as of today finally moved down 2lbs after hovering at 260lbs for 2 weeks.  Weight loss stalling is common but this was a first for me.  I just kept telling myself that 40lbs in 5 weeks was great success and there was no need to worry.  I was told that counting calories wasn’t necessary but after my 2 week weight stall, I recently decided to.  I’m ranging (in two days) between 1300 and 1100.  The old me was likely 2500 or more a day.  I rarely have sugar (that isn’t natural like in fruit) and have not had anything fast food or greasy like chips or fried foods which are two important rules.  The Ottawa weight loss clinic doesn’t expect us to calorie count, just follow rules like I mentioned and focus on eating proteins then veggies before our tummy’s get full.  I think it’s been one and a half weeks since I’ve had to deal with throwing up!  It’s usually a daily occurrence for me to feel sharp pain (although brief) in my left shoulder during eating (it’s a cue of being full) but this is tolerable and quickly gone.  I’m happy that hair loss or quality of nails hasn’t been a factor (which should suggest that I’m getting enough protein into me).

So, I may just log on once a week OR I’ll pop on when I can, I’ve not decided yet.  Generally speaking, things are going very good compared to the many complications I’ve had to face in the past!